Friday 19th November 1999

Chris dropped me off at Piccadilly and I caught the tram over to my Mum's house. My Mum had been wanting to watch "Tarzan" but Paddy, the miserable get, refused to go see it. So my Mum and I got Paddy to give us a lift to the cinema at about 12.00 to watch it. We arrived, Paddy drove off, the cinema was shut. :( So we went to Chiquito's for a quick drink. Mummy had a coke and I had a giant Margharita. It wasn't a patch on the Margharitas that Jason and I used to make in Phoenix but it was drinkable.

We phoned Paddy who came to pick us up again and then my Mum and I headed into Bury to do some shopping. My Mum bought a few bits and bobs, I bought a few books and managed to set the alarm off in Waterstones. It was as I was leaving when the whoo-whoo-whoo started so I went back in and the cat behind the desk checked my bag. Naturally I'd paid for everything so the man said to me "Do you have a mobile phone on you?". The reply was needless to say in the affirmative. "Oh, they sometimes set them off" was his parting comment. My how intelligent, it's a jolly good job that 80% of the population don't carry mobile phones.....oh no, wait a minute, they do!

Miss Green arrived and myself, Miss Green, Paddy and the birthday girl went out for dinner at Chiquito's which we'd booked earlier. Margharitas and Fajitas were consumed before we returned to Mama's house. It was just about now that we were discussing the daylight savings scheme for some some reason:

Paddy: "They don't have a daylight saving thing in Germany"
Me: "Ummmmmm, actually they do the clocks went back the other weekend"
Paddy: "No, they *don't* change the clocks in Germany"
Me: "Well actually they do! They also do it in France"
Paddy: "No they don't"
Me: "Paddy, have you ever *been* to Germany"
Paddy: "No, but I don't need to, I know they don't change the clocks"
Me: "Oh well, fair enough then. Y'know lets just ignore the fact that I live there, and lets ignore the fact that you don't, and lets ignore the fact that two weeks ago I had to adjust my watch by an hour. Just cast aside those facts and we'll blindly believe the dribble that sprouts from your mouth which was undoubtedly gleaned from a well informed article published in the Daily Mirror."

Editors note: The final piece of dialogue weren't the exact words but my ISP prevents me from using words that rhyme with cluck and punt.

Saturday 20th November 1999 Mums xxth Birthday

Awoke, messed about watching trashy British Saturday morning TV and went over to my Nan and Grandads house in Ashton. It seems that a few days ago my Nan was complaining that the reception on her portable TV was a bit fuzzy on Channel 4. My Grandad had tried to change it......apparently [ Source: Grandma ] he'd gone upstairs to "fix" it and returned triumphantly four hours later saying "Right it's much better now......errr if you want to watch BBC1 it's on channel 11, BBC2 is on 05, ITV is on 13 and channel 4 is on 0....errr and I've 'lost' channel 5".

So I went upstairs and sorted it out for them. My Grandad made the minor faux pas of calling Miss Green "Vicki" before quickly correcting himself, but it was bound to happen at some point in the weekend.

After this it was down to the pub to meet my Dad and Sue. Chatted for a while about my Dad building me a nice big house with a cellar [ it's gotta have a cellar you see ] and other such matters. Went to another pub for lunch before returning to pub A for some more beers. My Uncle John made a brief appearance also and we eventually left and Miss Green and I headed for Chester to see Rodders. I was verr verr drunk at this point.

Had to use the mobile to get directions in to Mikes house as I didn't have the faintest where he lived as he's just moved. Didn't want the baby being brought up in Manchester or something. Anyway, Rodders has just bought himself a flashy new motorbike so we *had* to take it out for a mash. Verr verr fast, verr verr scary, verr verr good fun. So had a chat with Mike and Jayne, and Jaynes sister whose name I've known and forgotten about 15 times now before heading back to Mummy's to sleep.

Sunday 21st November 1999

Awoke and searched around Whitefield for a greasy cafe to no avail so we bought some stuff from the shop and cooked it instead. Then Miss Green and I drove over to Chris' house where she dropped me off and continued her journey back to The Land That Time Forgot.

Chris and I, predictably, went to the pub to drink and play pool. Got leathered, lost at pool, made a little standy uppy card out of a beer mat that said "Gay Rent Boys 500 pounds" and had a laugh really - pretty standard few quick pints on a Sunday afternoon.

I jumped in a cab to the airport made my flight *again* and arrived back in Ulm at about 10.30pm.

Monday 22nd November 1999

Went to Murphy's Oirish bar again, got excessively drunk on Guiness again, lost pool to Andrew the barman again, but it's OK cos his ex-girlfriend was in and she's delightful to look at. We also started what is certain to become a regular occurence by ordering pizza to be delivered to the bar which [ as I've just remembered ] I didn't pay Mark for. Arrived home at about 00:30.

Tuesday 23rd November 1999

Went to the "Rubber switch-blade" had a few drinks but nothing too serious, grabbed a bite to eat. Went back to the hotel where I had a sauna followed by a plunge into the plunge pool, followed by another sauna, another plunge and a final sauna to warm me back up.

Wednesday 24th November 1999

Ummmm, dunno beers and stuff definitely but where and with whom is a mystery.

Thursday 25th November 1999

The "Weihenacht Market" opened this night in Ulm so myself and Mark trotted along there to look the pretty stalls, see the sheep and donkey in the ermmm grotto nativity type thing and look at the traditional German wares. Whilst there we drank gluwein which is like a hot red wine. Very warming in the chilly Ulm air. Following this we went over to Bar Fusse for a couple of beers. It was whilst we were in Bar Fusse that a couple of guys from the office wandered in. They were Tony an Ozzie/Italian and Richard and Ipswich lad. We had a few beers together and then en masse left for Murphys.