Global Domination

See that, I did that.......see that, I did that too

Picture the scene. Poor downtrodden me is being dragged around city centre Manchester moaning and grumbling all the way by my "I'm going to buy a bloody dress for this wedding if it sodding well kills us both" girlfriend, Emma. The sun was shining, my feet were aching, it was about the fifty-fifth shop we'd visited and I was hungry.

My eyes alight on what most people would consider to be an ordinary run of the mill phone box. To me it had the magical "Phone - Text - e-mail" banner running across the top. This is the type of payphone that I'd spent six months writing software for at Marconi. Suddenly the tables turned and it was Emma's turn to be dragged across the street. Rather than the usual destination of another shop selling the same shitty clothes the somewhat strange destination was the inside of a payphone.

With a squeal like a public school girl being given her first pony I discovered that my software was indeed present in this phone. Emma looked on non-plussed as I pressed buttons saying things like "see that...I did that" and "watch this for five seconds.....see how the screen changed, I did that - that's a timer that I set up that is" along with "watch this, if we press this, this and this then a picture of a big willy comes up...look there it is". Fantastic! I was a happy bunny for the rest of the day and dutifully trailed along behind Emma knowing that my life on this planet was complete.

Some may say that I have set my self a low goal for the whole life completion bit, I say it's better to attain a piss-easy goal then never to attain at all.

Anyway, sadly I didn't have my digi-cam with me but it's constantly being carried with me now just in case I come across another one. As soon as I do then rest assured this page will be jammed full of mind bogglingly dull pictures of phone boxes and screen shots saying stuff like "Please replace the handset".

Should any of you come across a "Phone - Text - E-mail" payphone then on the bottom left of the screen is a menu option called "Textphone". As soon as you select the Textphone option then you are into my software. What joy.