Editors note: for those of you that didn't attend Huddo's [ Dr Hudson ] A-Level Biology classes at Oulder Hill school the term biomass is used to describe the size of a plant

This next shot is a picture of the carnage that remained in my living room after repotting the tomato, chilli and pepper plants. It's getting a little long winded writing "tomato, chilli and pepper" so they shall henceforth be referred to as "red ones".

The mess left on the floor should act as a warning to all you would be amateur gardeners out there. Make sure you do it when your wench isn't around! This brings me onto my next point. If any of you generous readers out there would like to give me a house with a garden, a potting shed and a greenhouse then you would have truly made my day :)

Below we have a quite astounding picture of the "red ones" coming on in leaps in bounds. The second from the left in particular seems to have shot up and I reckon we'll have some tomatos on there ummmmm sometime. This picture, if compared to last weeks shot of me little darlings may be a bit misleading. Last week they were just sat in their little plant pots at the bottom of the trough, whereas this week they have been artificially elevated by the repotting process. I may have to buy myself a ruler or something to include in these pictures so that you [ yeah like you really give a shit ] can get some idea of their growth rate.

You will no doubt have noticed that the plants are all leaning away from the camera, this is because they usually sit inside on the window ledge and so are growing towards the light. Everyone will no doubt be aware of the growing toward the light behaviour that plants exhibit - but are you aware that the process is called "phototropism". Similarly, the way that the plants grow up in the air rather than burrowing down into the soil is called "geotropism". Damn, Huddo would be proud of me!

I suspect I owe my thanks to this plant anabolic steroid equivalent that has been added to my stockpile of plant growing weaponry. Five quid for the pair from your nearest Homebase store.

You remember me mentioning my garlic growing attempt. Well here it is. I won't bore you with this plant anymore unless some green stuff starts popping out of the soil. Not too sure whether or not this should be inside. We'll see.

Finally for this weeks update we have a close up of the pretty white flower that has appeared on my pepper plant. It's not that obvious due to the white thing in the background and the fact that I have dropped the resolution of all these pics so I decided to put a helpful red circle around it. Awwww, isn't that pretty.